Just A Little Nuts In The Mornin'

It’s a little before 8a.m. The birds are chirping outside. The light breeze is drifting through my quiet classroom as the cherub-esque 6 year olds enter and settle into a book. I’m sneaking some almonds at my desk because I woke up too late to grab a decent breakfast. Suddenly, I’m snapped out of my calm by an angry *Adam:

“Charlie said that he thought he heard Matt say that he could hit me in the nuts ANYTIME he wanted!”
I stash my snack back into my desk drawer and call Matt over.
“Matt? Did you say something to Charlie about hurting Adam?”
Hesitant and confused, Matt said, “No…I don’t think so.”
I call Charlie over and get a wishy-washy story –“I’m not really sure if I heard him say that or not – Matt may have been whispering...”
Matt jumped in with, “I wasn’t whispering! And I didn’t say anything about hitting anybody’s NUTS!”
~deep breath~
“Okay, this is a good example of that word “gossip” we heard in our story yesterday, and how it can hurt friends. Remember how sometimes it’s hard to hear and remember the exact message someone else gives us? We don’t want to repeat it if we aren’t sure, and if it’s something that’s going to hurt someone else it might just be best to tell an adult instead of making that person angry at the other one-
Because, Charlie, maybe you heard him wrong, right? Like, maybe Matt said, ‘Miss S. is nuts.’ (boys’ eyes bug-out) You know, like Miss S. is crazy?”
They all giggled –phew!
Anger diffused.
Charlie agrees to handle it differently next time, walks back to his desk.
Adam has cooled off and returns to his desk.

Matt stays.

“Matt, do you have anything else you feel like you should tell me?”
Peering over his thick-rimmed glasses, he proceeds- speaking in a quieter voice out of the side of his mouth. “Ok, so I didn’t say I was gonna crush his nuts, but I think I might’ve did it.”
insert my questioning, arched eyebrow here
“So, yeah…maybe I did? On accident? Kick him in the nuts, I mean? Cause I didn’t say it. I didn’t even look and I think I kicked him in the nuts-but I’m not sure. So you know it was an accident-cause that’s kinda lucky that I even hit him right there. That I kicked him in the nuts, I mean.”
SERIOUSLY doing everything to stifle a grin here—can he use the word nuts one more time??? “Ok. Matt, I need you to follow our rule of keeping our hands, feet and other objects to ourselves—safety and respect, remember? Can you do that for me?”
He nods, once again, looking over his glasses and sweetly says, “Miss S?”
“Yes, Matt.”
“I’m really sorry if I kicked him in the nuts.”


*names have been changed to protect the innocent